An In-Depth Look at the XBOX 360 MTV Special (Part 1)

But how does one begin a quest for ultimate suckatude. For Microsoft, the quest starts very simply. It starts with a couch.

Then we are magically wisked away to 12 other destinations around the world that, oddly enough, all have the same damned couch. If you didn't know this was an XBOX infomercial, you might think that you were looking at an ad for Pier 1 or something.

Now that is a beautiful couch! How is Microsoft going to top that?

BRING OUT THE B-LIST STARS!

Elijah tells us that before they can reveal the new XBOX upon the world, MTV needs to drop some knowledge on us.

Behold MTV and Microsoft's history of video games!

I didn't take screenshots of the entire timeline, because that would be pointless. Here's the gist:

After this enlightening montage, we return to Elijah...

and the XBOX 360 is revealed!

Then we appeared to hit a bit of a snag.

But we soon returned to DEFCON 5 and were given the "all clear."

I know. Right now your tongue is wet. You are salivating with the thought of more details...

Instead, here is a pop band.

WARNING! OBSCURE 80'S REFERENCE!

Then after a commercial break (Yes, this infomercial had commercials. Only on MTV people) we were treated to some very quick clips of XBOX 360 graphics. I grouped all of the clips together, because, aside from Perfect Dark Zero, they took up a whole 57 seconds (I timed it!) of the show.

The most shocking title was NBA 2K6, not because it was unexpected, I'm sure everyone thought it would come out for the XBOX 360. But it looks like they have radically changed the gameplay experience.

Hopefully they will add other players before launch.

CLIFFHANGER!

Many questions still remain. Is Perfect Dark Zero awesome? Will they successfully "pimp" the XBOX? Who the hell is Uzi? And why does J. Allard look like a talking penis?

All these questions and many more will be answered in...

PART 2 which is available by FOLLOWING THIS LINK

Copyright 2002-2004 by Joe Maywalt